The Latin name for the common banana slug, Ariolimax dilichophallus, literally translates to "long penis." This gastropod's pud is the same length as its body, however long it grows. Suffice it to say, the descendants of this primitive tusked sea cow got the lucky gene. It came from a species of walrus that died out 12,000 years ago. In 2007, a four-foot baculum was sold for $8,000 at an auction. As you can see, even they are capable of knowing when they're up to naughty business. Behold, ye pee-pee voyeurs of the Internet, a walrus going to town on itself. Boasting the largest baculum (walrus boner) of any land mammal, their penis bones hide under 2,000 pounds of fat only to be unleashed when a voluptuous female is nearby. Urban Dictionary defines "walrus penis" as a "greasy big choad-like penis with extra foreskin." Accurate. The Chelonia mydas is listed as endangered because it's often the recipient of boat propeller bludgeonings although, in theory, it's possible for the green sea turtle penis to break cruise ship propellers if it gets entangled in them. Much of that is due to its eye-popping turtle dong, which can grow to a highly respectable 12 inches. The green sea turtle can weigh as much as 700 pounds. Male pigs are also known to orgasm for up to 30 minutes, adding insult to injury if you're a gilt. While 18 inches is the longest pig penis ever observed in nature, their genitalia usually hovers around the 9- to 12-inch range. Native to temperate regions in the southern hemisphere, the tapir has a "prehensile" penis that is used to grip and grasp females who would prefer not to limp for an entire afternoon.Įver wonder where the term "hog" comes from? Curly and noodle-like, resembling its tail, the male pig has a notoriously impressive member. Here you can see it using its penis to scratch its own back. The tapir boasts a jaw-dropping 19 inches. Its penis is so big, one would think it impossible to escape predators with an inconvenient fifth leg. This jungle pig-horse is classified as endangered, which makes sense. When it's not flinging its ding-a-ling like Spider-Man shooting his web, it's assumed the Argentine Lake Duck dangles its penis in the water like bait and tackle to attract small prey. The scientifically dubbed Oxygura vittata is known to extend its corkscrew-shaped appendage to "lasso" females. The Guinness World Record for longest penis among birds belongs to the Argentine Lake Duck. But I also hate to break it to you, but your penis pales in comparison to that of a pig, or even a green sea turtle for that matter. If you're reading this site, odds are you're packing mule meat. The following animals defy the laws of nature in the dick department.
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